1. Why don’t you chew on the toys I bought for you? Come on, you’ve got a Gumby and a Mr. Bill that says “Oh, no!” when you squeeze him, but the kids pencils and crayons are more appealing? My paperbacks are more fun than a tennis ball? Some dogs have no toys at all, you should be grateful instead of always looking for something new to chew on, young lady.
2. How much longer are you going to eat your own poop? I’m worried that the neighbors dogs are going to start talking. It’s nasty, and the kids are thoroughly disgusted. So give it up. Go cold turkey. There’s gotta be a poopy patch or something to get you through the withdrawals. And don’t even think about getting into the cat box.
3. Is your fur always going to be so soft? Your brown, velvety fur has got to be the softest thing I’ve ever felt. And it smells good, too. (Yes, I sniff your fur.) What do I have to do to help you keep this plush fur forever?
4. Do you really understand what I’m saying? Because sometimes when you look at me I think you do. You must be thinking something when you look at me with those big amber eyes of yours. Next time, bark twice if you understand.
5. Do you like the cat or do you really want to hurt him? Because I thought you were playing, but sometimes it seems like you’re being a little mean and the cat runs for his life. I’m just saying.
6. Who really chewed up my laptop power cord—you or the cat? That’s $50 you owe me for a new one, little miss. Please, please, please don’t do that again. (Besides, you might get shocked!)
7. Do you miss your mom? Do you sometimes wonder if she’s in the other room with your brothers and sisters? Would you know her if you saw her again?
8. Why do you need to find a new spot to pee outside every time? Let’s just find one spot, go there right away when we go outside and get it over with—all at once. I’ll give you three treats on the spot if you do.
9. Does your fur coat really keep you warm? Would you wear a little doggie coat if I got you one? Would you be happier with a blanket in your crate? (Could you resist eating it if I did?)
10. When you kick your feet in your sleep, what are you running after? Because you haven’t seen any little animals yet to even know what to chase.
11. If I let you eat as much food as you wanted, when would you stop? Would you stop? Don’t get excited, Hershey. I’m not going to try it for real. I’m just wondering, because you seem like you could eat anything, anytime, anywhere.
12. What do I have to do to get you to never pee or poop inside again? Because I’ll do it. Seriously. Let’s make this our last bottle of carpet cleaner.
13. Why do you go after my daughter Riley with much more “enthusiasm” than the rest of us? When she says, “Hershey, no!” and starts crying, that means she doesn’t want you to nip at her toes and jump on her. Just so you know.
14. When you are potty trained and stop chewing on things and we let you out of your crate at night, who are you going to sleep with? (Don’t get excited, you might be on the floor. We’re not sure yet. I’m just wondering whose bedroom you’re going to pick.)
15. When you’re big enough to jump on the furniture, are you going to listen to us and stay off of it?
16. What’s going to be your favorite game outside when the weather’s nice? Fetch? Chase? Going for walks? Not coming back inside?
17. How do you feel about being my personal footrest? You could sit by the couch, and let me settle my tootsies on your back when you’re a little bigger. I’ll even give you a little massage. What do you think? Win-win, right?
18. Would you stop a burglar from breaking in—or would you think it was a new person coming to play with you?
19. Are you going to feel really sad that you’ll never get to be a mother? Really, it’s best for everyone and you’ll keep your girlish figure.
20. Do you promise to never, ever leave us? (Don’t worry, we might be getting an electric fence to be certain.)
—————–
Have you missed any of the articles in this series?
If so, you can find them at:
The Bringing Up Puppy Series page.
Related posts:
- Bringing Up Puppy Series – Weird Dog Questions
- Bringing Up Puppy Series – What’s In a Name?
- Bringing Up Puppy Series – Second Thoughts
- Bringing Up Puppy Series – Hello Stranger
- Bringing Up Puppy Series – First Trip to the Vet
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
i’ve admired your stories on puppy raising. I just got one and it’s been a nightmare for me…i’m so stressed out and it was pure empathy when i read your “second thoughts” article. the cost is outweighing the benefits for me right now with my pup and i’m just trying to survive…any tips for destressing and not going crazy with my new puppy?
Hi Ken,
The hardest part of owning a puppy is the first year. Always keep it in the back of your mind that, although it may be an uphill battle right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
A good way to relieve some stress is to get a family member or friend to watch the puppy for half a day. You would be surprised how much a few hours of relaxing can help to rejuvenate yourself.
Also, don’t ever forget that the puppy isn’t trying to drive you crazy (no matter how good at it he is)! All puppies want to please their masters. You two just need to get on the same page. This is best done through baby steps.
Speaking of which, what are you struggling with specifically?
i know this makes me sound terrible, but its a sudden bout of buyer’s remorse…he was an impulse buy and no one conveyed just how much focus i have to give him. its the lack of personal time that’s worrying me the most. and on top of it, i feel immense guilt for having these feelings of near hate for the pup. I think this shock is coming from the first dog I had, which was an outside dog with much more limited contact/interaction. (Plus the fact that my mom had to deal with all the unpleasant aspects)
If I end up not wanting him, my parents would take him in and i’m considering the 90 day wait to make a decision, but it seems so far away and everyday with the dog just seems like a trial. Please offer any advice you can. I’ve googled all about the disparaging comments on ppl with buyer’s remorse…I know I should have done my due diligence on researching puppy raising, but should I really wait? will this hate turn into love magically one day?
Thanks again for anyone who lends a shoulder to cry on.
Hi Ken,
Let’s set the record straight first by stating that there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. You are being honest with yourself and trying to make a decision that is best, for both you and the puppy.
Buyer’s remorse is extremely common with a new puppy. It is a MASSIVE commitment. And, just like you, it takes some people by surprise.
What you need to do is to figure out if it is something deeper than that.
I will tell you this: If you truly want a puppy in your life, and you are ready to make a 12 – 15 year commitment, then you will love that puppy no matter what. However, if you resent the time it takes to care for a puppy and hate every waking minute of it, you are digging yourself in a hole of hate.
You need to sit down and really think about if you want the pup in your life. Everyone has their bad days, but if you have been feeling this way from the start, I think your mind is telling you something.
I think you will be surprised at how much sitting down in a quiet spot for 10 – 15 minutes and thinking about this subject will tell you. Maybe take a longer shower today and really be honest with yourself. Do you love the puppy? Do you want to care for him no matter what? Are you ready to sacrifice time and money to make sure he lives a happy and healthy life?
Far be it from me to ever tell anyone to give up their puppy, but if the situation truly doesn’t fit, you are doing both yourself and your puppy a favor if you make the decision earlier rather than later.
Unfortunately, this is one of those decisions that no one will be able to help you make. You need to do a little soul-searching to figure out if this is the right time for you to have a new puppy in your life. And please remember, everyone (whether they admit it or not) has bad days. Some people even have bad weeks! I just want to make sure that you understand the difference between a bad day and a situation that just doesn’t feel right.
- Jeff
Perfect Puppy Care
Thanks for all the helpful advice Jeff…I think i was overwhelmed by the fact that this dog is inside with me ALL THE TIME, and i never had this situation with my old dog (which stayed in our backyard 99% of the time). Having this pup in my face all the time has been a little too much for me and I do need to figure out whether i really want him or whether it was a disastrous impulsive buy. I just tend to think too much and freak out about the future…but i really need to tell myself to calm down b/c even if i don’t really want him, my parents will take him. . .
i think it’s a personal character flaw/obsessive compulsive tendency for me to think too far ahead…and this puppy has been driving that trait in me into overdrive….
Thanks for the support and please do keep in touch here as i may be lamenting more in the future lol
Hi Ken:
I am in the exact same boat with you. I had a Bichon for 17 years and they were all hell. My 30 something daughter wanted a puppy and got one, but since she lives in an apt. in our home, its not too bad. I was lonely while everyone was at work and I thought long & hard about getting another dog that was mine, especially after the Bichon & there already being another dog in the house.
But I missed that cuddling & cute stage they go through, so I did my homework and decided to rescue a ShihTzu. She is darling, but has Giardella (sp?) so poop is like water and its a constant day of cleaning for me. I to, am beginning to get frustrated and having thoughts about giving her back, but my daughter and husband keep reminding me it will get better. I hope so. I think if she were not sick, it would be a better situation, but it takes a while to get rid of this. I found after having a couple of dogs, that it takes about 2 years for them to calm down. I did want an older dog that was already trained, but there were none to be rescued at the time. This one won my heart, but its tough to turn the feelings on and off after you’ve spent hours on cleaning up loose stools from beige carpet.
I’ll hang in there, if you will. Keep saying things will get better, they will get better! If you find that after giving it a chance and you still feel it was a mistake, then having a dog is not for you. There is nothing wrong with that, it happens to alot of people. One last comment. My daughter took her dog to Puppy Kindergarten and it helped tremendously with socialization and exercise and she is a gentle, loveable dog now. You might consider that, it will help you and your dog!
Joann
Hey! Ken is the puppy crate training at the moment?? This might help a lot with the potty training and esp. if your not able to moniter him for example if your at work this will keep the puppy away from destructive behaviors. Dogs are den animals, so a crate creates the environment of a safe haven for them. what are the specific issues that you are having with the puppy? is chewing? I remember when I got mine at 6 months it was a little difficult since she was a little older and not fully trained. I waited out a year and she is the best dog I’ve ever had!! Try getting chew toys like the kongs and everlasting treats. those might help. with the kongs you can put peanut butter in and stick in the freezer and give it to your puppy to keep her busy. even bully sticks help as well. hope all goes well though!
Hello Ken, I can totally relate. I just got a Cocker Spaniel puppy a few weeks back who is now 16 weeks old. She is the very first puppy that I have ever owned, not to mention I have another Cocker Spaniel who will be 5 yrs old this month. The first few weeks with the puppy had me having serious doubts. I wanted to take to the newspaper to try to rehome her. I went to work and shared with fellow co-workers with tears in my eyes because this little puppy had turned my life upside down. She peeed and pooped constantly on my carpet, she and my other dog were constantly growling and fighting. I had to get up in the wee hours of the morning to take the puppy out to potty, she cried the first few nights, she bites, she was just hard to love. Now I have turned a corner and I adore her. Not much has changed but I think patience and understanding has finally kicked in. Before I wanted to open the gate and let her walk out. She has gotten a little better with the using the restroom in the house. I don’t have to wake up every night at 1:00am and 5:00am to let her out because her bladder is getting stronger. What I thought was fighting was play between both dogs, but there are moments of both because my resident dog is trying to show my puppy that she is the dominate dog in the house. I also purchased a book on puppies that helped me to understand about their behavior. I have also signed us up for Puppy Kindergarten which I’m super excited about. This class with address issues with potty accidents, teaching commands, biting, etc. Hang in there Ken, you will turn the corner like I did and realize that puppies are just like babies, and if you hang in there they will steal your heart before you know it. In regard to the cost, don’t go crazy like I do with my animals. I buy them everything under the sun. Just purchase a few chew toys, a crate, food, and get them their shots. You don’t have to go broke. If you have a female dog get her spaded. If you can’t afford that check with your local animal shelter because a few times a year they will offer the service for free or next to nothing. I hope this helps.
Hi Ken, I think it’s so hard to admit you have anything but loving feelings for a little puppy. I’ve said to so many people that I can’t believe word hasn’t got out about how hard puppies are! And if you’re trying to raise it all by yourself, you never get a break! But it does get easier, I’ve already forgotten how bad the early days were. Do hang in there a bit longer, but you know what? If you can’t do it, and you decide it was a mistake, you can work hard to find the right home for the puppy. But give yourself permission to feel upset, to feel regret, and to even entertain the notion you might give her away. And then the next day, you might feel better. Hang in there.