I love barking. The sound of my own voice is sweet music to my ears! When I was born almost 12 months ago, it was a puny, embarrassing sound—hardly strong enough to get a flea shaking in its boots! But now that I am almost officially an adult dog, my bark has rich baritone sound that I’m convinced can wake the dead.
My favorite times to hear it is when the doorbell rings, when I heard a strange sound, or in the middle of the night when I’m feeling playful. I think that last one is probably my owners least favorite time. As it weird as it sounds, they actually want to sleep at night! That makes no sense to me. After all, I can sleep any time of day. Personally, I think my owners need to find more value in the opportunity to take a good nap after lunch!
But I digress…where was I? Ah, yes. Barking. What a delightful and wonderful thing to be able to do. In fact, I even made a list of why it’s important and good for a dog to bark. I call it “Oliver’s Top Five Reasons to Risk Annoying Your Owner with Barking.”
Isn’t that a great title?
But wait till you see my list! Here it is.
Oliver’s Top Five Reasons to Risk Annoying Your Owner with Barking:
1. To test their hearing in the middle of the night and get in extra play time—this is an invaluable service that I am providing them with. Trudy and Jack are in their thirties. That’s ancient! Their hearing could go at a moment’s notice. My barking gives them the opportunity to keep their ears in tip top shape even in the middle of the night. You never know when a robber might break in the house! And it provides new opportunities for them to get exercise by playing with me.
2. Hunger—A dog’s gotta eat. That’s all there is to it. I just like to make sure that my owners are always on time with the food. A short burst of barking around dinner time always gets them moving.
3. The doorbell—I don’t want them to miss an important visit from the President or anything. True, I don’t think they know the President but you never know when he could be knocking on your door. I find that it’s important to bark as loudly as you can when the doorbell rings. Also, you don’t want your neighbors to miss out on the fact that someone is at your door. Bark loud enough that the whole neighborhood can hear that you have a visitor!
4. Strange noises—Now this is a serious one. Anytime you hear a new noise, bark at it. Let the noise know that you are the boss, you are in control, and you are the mighty dog of the house. Make it fear your bark. And when you find out it’s just the garbage truck outside or someone screaming on the television, don’t be embarrassed. You were just doing your job.
5. To alert the people you love about lurking, dangerous cats—do I really need to explain this one? We all know that cats are just pure, concentrated evil.
Am I a wonderful list maker or what?
I just wish Trudy would appreciate my abilities more. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much going on upstairs in the way of imagination and seems to think that barking is an annoying thing that I do it too much. Can I help it if sometimes everything on my top five list happens all at once or in the middle of the night? Certainly not! But like I said, Trudy isn’t appreciative of some of my finer qualities. It’s a shame. I’m going to be an adult dog soon.
Maybe then she’ll recognize my authority! I have my doubts though. Just today I heard the following conversation:
“Jack, we’ve got to do something about that dog!” Trudy glared down at me. I wagged my tail and gave her my cutest face. Nothing. Her tired eyes didn’t soften in the least. “I can’t take being barked at in the middle of the night anymore. Did you know that Oliver got right in my face last night and barked as loud as he could? He hopped onto our bed, and then proceeded to get as close to me as he could before scaring me half to death. I couldn’t get back to sleep!”
Trudy is such a drama queen! I wasn’t in her face. I was next to her ear. There’s a big difference.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him.” Jack scratched at his head. “He never used to do that. Maybe something scared him or maybe he’s not getting enough attention.”
“Are you kidding me? That crazy dog gets more attention than our daughter, Olivia!”
“Maybe he needs more exercise.”
“Maybe he needs to learn not to bark at every little noise!” Trudy sighed. “I wash my hands of it, Jack. You need to fix this problem!”
See what I mean? She calls my barking a problem. But not Jack. Jack will never try to change me. He’s a man who knows how important it is to have your own identity.
“Oliver, you’ve gotten in real trouble this time,” Jack said. He squatted down to look me in the eye and scratch behind my ears. “You have to stop barking at every little thing.”
What? How could Jack betray me?
I ducked my head down in disappointment and headed to my crate. Depressed, I settled down to reflect on my thoughts and take a nap.
After all, it’s hard work barking all night! Trudy is not the only one who didn’t get any sleep.
*****
When I woke up, Jack was busy reading something on his computer. I trotted into his work room and gave a good shake of my collar so he’d know I was in there. He didn’t react.
It was almost like he didn’t even hear me.
I shook my collar again. Still nothing. So I gave a series of my most piercing barks. When Jack continued to act as if he didn’t hear me, I barked louder.
“Enough!” Jack said in a very stern voice.
I stopped barking and tilted my head to look at him a little better. He smiled and gave me a pat on the head. “Good boy.”
Huh?
Just then I heard a noise outside the house. Sounded like a loud engine, maybe even one of those motorcycle things. Determined not to be bested in sound, I ran into the living room barking.
“Enough!” Jack followed me. His tone made me stop barking. “Good dog.”
He quickly dropped down and gave me a pat on the head.
“What was he barking at this time?” Trudy asked, walking into the living room.
“A motorcycle, I think,” Jack said. “I was reading online that if we used a cue word, we could train Oliver to stop barking.”
“A cue word?”
“Yep. I’ve been using the word ‘enough.’ It’s all about your tone of voice and then what you do to reward him when he stops.”
“Jack, you’re not rewarding him with food are you?”
“No, though some people do. I’m just giving him praise.”
“But isn’t that showing him that every time he wants your attention, all he has to do is bark?”
“Not exactly. I’m teaching him about noises right now, but we’ll get to attention tactics soon.”
“I hope this works,” Trudy said.
“Me, too!”
Trudy went into the kitchen while Jack plopped down on the couch. He turned on a football game, and I knew exactly what would happen next. Instead of watching the game, he’d fall asleep. It was a ritual he’d performed since coming home from the army a few months ago.
Sure enough, deep snores filled the living room before too long!
But I was bored. I really wanted to play. And I wanted Jack to play with me!
Bark! Bark! Bark!
His snoring stopped, but his eyes didn’t open. Puzzled, I barked again. Still, nothing happened. I sat on my haunch and barked some more.
“Enough!” Jack said, opening one eye.
I sulked.
“Good boy.” Jack closed the eye and began snoring again.
No fair. I’m a puppy! People are supposed to pay attention to me. Frustrated, I went in search of my mother, Schatze. She was outside, sunning herself in the afternoon light.
“What’s the matter, Oliver?” she asked.
“I’ve been barking, but no one will pay attention to me!”
“Oh, poor baby,” Momma said, but her tone made me think she didn’t take my complaints seriously.
“I just want someone to play with.”
“Don’t be so spoiled!” Momma chastised. “Barking all the time isn’t the way to get their attention. Besides, you are almost one year old. Time to let go of puppy things. Be a good dog, silly. Follow their directions and you’ll get plenty of attention.”
I suppose Momma did have a point. I might have been a little bit obnoxious with my barking the last few days. Maybe my Top 5 List was a tiny bit over the top…
I guess it’s time to use Jack’s new word and put away my puppy habits.
“Enough!” I told myself with a smile and trotted off to see what else I could get into.
Related posts:
- What Is Your Puppy Trying to Tell You When He Barks?
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Challenges the Thunder
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Worries
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Digs
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Gets Fleas
