“Sit, Oliver.”
I roll over on my back and swat my paw playfully at Olivia.
“No. That’s rolling over. I want you to sit!” She gives a little sigh and wipes a grimy hand across her forehead. It’s hot outside this morning, and I think the heat is making my normally sweet tempered friend a little cranky. I roll back to my tummy, stand up, and wag my tail at her.
“C’mon. Be a good boy and sit,” she says. This time she pushes my back side down until its sitting on the ground. “That’s it. Sit.”
Wow. She’s really obsessed with this sitting thing.
She pulls out a cheese flavored doggie treat. I can smell the aroma of it and immediately pop up, already drooling a little. She gives it to me, and I munch on it, not caring that little pieces of the treat are flying everywhere. It tastes so good! When I’m finished, I wag my tail, hoping for more.
“Sit,” she says.
What is with the kid today? Why does she keep bossing me around? I don’t want to sit. I want another treat, and if I can’t have that, then I want to roll around in the yard, or visit with my girlfriend. I still don’t know her name, but just thinking about the way her cute little nose sticks through the fence makes me want to trot over there and check on her. So I do.
“Oliver, that’s not what you are supposed to do,” Olivia cries out. I pause, but when I see my girlfriend poke her nose through the hole in the fence, I am compelled to ignore Olivia and investigate further. “Stay away from the dog. I’m trying to train you!”
Train me? For what? It’s not like I’m going to be in the circus. Next thing I know, Olivia picks me up and brings me back to the porch. She pulls out another treat and holds it just out of my reach. Then she pushes down my rump again and says, “Sit.”
Okay, I’m sitting again. Big deal. But then she gives me the treat!
I chew it up and look hopefully back at her. Yes! I hop up as she pulls out another treat, but instead of pushing my back side down, she just says, “Sit.”
Because I know it will make Olivia happy, I sit. She gives a little squeal of surprise and tosses me the treat. I don’t know when I’ve ever seen her so excited. Her red hair bounces on her shoulders, and she claps her hands like I’ve done the most wonderful and amazing thing ever. It’s weird behavior, but whatever. I’m a live and let live sort of dog, and if me sitting so Olivia can give me a treat makes her happy, then so be it.
Humans are so easy to train. You just do what they tell you a few times and then boom! They’re giving treats, petting your head, or rubbing your belly. So little keeps them happy. It must be nice to have no depth at all to your personality.
I’ve been training Olivia and her mother Trudy for the past few weeks. I know that the common belief is that humans train their pets. But that is so not true. Pets train their humans. We just let them think they’ve trained us so they feel good about themselves. For example, I’ve finally got Trudy into the habit of tossing me the ball. It took forever and I was really concerned about her mental capacity for games, but eventually she got the idea that when I gave her the ball, her job was to throw it. My job is to run after it and bring it back so she can toss it again. We play this game over and over until she finally poops out. What Trudy doesn’t realize is that I’m actually helping her work out her arms with this activity. Pretty soon she’ll be ready for a career in baseball.
I’ve also trained them about breakfast and dinner time. Since I’m a big dog now at 13 weeks and I’ve moved into my own place, I’ve started eating more manly meals. I really like the solid crunchy stuff that Trudy puts in my bowl early in the morning. The only problem is that occasionally Trudy moves a little slowly, especially if she hasn’t had her coffee. In my eyes, that is unacceptable.
My belly aches when it doesn’t have food, and if I don’t get to eat on time, I tend to find other ways to amuse myself—ways that typically annoy Trudy or get me in trouble. So in order to help us both out, I have devised a little training system that I find works pretty well.
Unfortunately for me, my crate is locked at night so I can’t go wandering around which means I have to wait for someone to get up to let me out. So step one of the food training process involves me whimpering. First, I whimper soft. I mean, there isn’t any reason to wake Olivia. It’s Trudy I want to get up. But if that doesn’t work, I give a few yips, just to say, “Hey, I gotta pee.” If that doesn’t do the trick, I move into full howl mode and bang around the inside of the crate. Trudy always comes running then!
At night it’s a different story. Last week, Olivia presented me with a wonderful collar. It’s red with a gold circle tag on it. When I shake or scratch myself, it makes the most wonderful clinking sound. I flap my ears all the time just to hear it! But I’ve also discovered that when dinner time rolls around and my bowl is not full, I can alert Trudy and Olivia by shaking my collar a bunch to get their attention. The little noise seems to remind them that Oliver needs attention!
Ah training. It really is a beautiful thing.
*****
Today, I went for a walk on a leash. I can’t say the leash part was all that thrilling because I’d really liked to have explored the world unencumbered by anything, but getting to go outside of the house and away from the backyard was amazing. I’d only seen brief glimpses before, and now that I got to really take in this new environment…well, I could hardly contain my excitement.
In fact, it sort of leaked out of me every time I saw a blade of grass.
“C’mon, Oliver,” Olivia encouraged and started moving along the sidewalk. “Let’s walk down here.”
I skipped along next to her, loving the way the sun warmed my head. The collar circling my neck jingled in pleasant way that matched the spirit of my pace. Around my belly she had strapped a harness which is where the leash was attached to. The leash was long and gave me plenty of freedom to run ahead.
The problem with our walk began a few minutes into it. See, I like to sniff things. I have an uncontrollable urge to dive into hedges and discover whatever secrets are hidden there. I like to chase after other children or run along the fence line barking. Sometimes I circle around Olivia which she really doesn’t like because it causes her to trip and fall. Also, I got my first look at a cat today and the need to chase after it had me pulling her along the sidewalk faster than her legs could carry her.
I don’t think she was enjoying our walk as much as I was.
Hmmm…how can I fix this? Perhaps I need to train her to keep up with me.
Actually, she provided the solution herself. She pulled out one of the cheese dog snacks and said, “Come here, boy. Sit.”
Treats always motivate me, so I did exactly as she asked and was rewarded with cheesy goodness.
“Okay, now we’re going to walk, but we’re staying together. No running ahead.”
We started off at a good pace and when I started to pull ahead, she would stop and call me back to her. Each time I went back, we’d start again. If I stayed with her, she’d give me a treat. I found that even though we were going at a slower pace than I would prefer, I was still able to take in all the sites and get fed at the same time. Before long, I had her trained to give me a treat whenever I did the right thing!
By the end of the walk, she seemed to be feeling better because she decided to run. Side by side we charged down the sidewalk, and boy, did that feel good! We passed houses, fire hydrants, and kids on bikes as if we were the fastest creatures in the world.
“How did it go?” Trudy asked when we got back home.
“Great! I trained Oliver how to use the leash,” Olivia said, taking the harness off me.
Sure you did kid, I think as I plop down and help myself to water from the water bowl.
We all know I trained her!
*****
(…to be continued)
Related posts:
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Protects His Family
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Gets Fleas
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Digs
- Puppy Tails – Oliver Explores
- Puppy Tails – Oliver the Supermodel
